Let the editing... begin.

Official Mistress of the Red Ink Pen Tool

Today we attack, and then/but then. The Goddess who was charged with editing my early manuscripts, and dragging me into this profession, earned her expertise as the Editor of a daily newspaper for thirty (30) years.

Her biggest peeve, and now mine, is the overuse of the phrases, and then or but then. The two words together are nothing more than stuttering. And is used to connect two ideas, just as the word then; granted then gives a bit of timing to the idea, but so does and. You can't do two things simultaneously. You may be in the big store shopping for groceries, decide to order your medication, and pick it up later. However, time will elapse between your tasks.

If you go to Place (a) and Place (b), the reader can deduce the actions were completed in one trip since you mentioned them in the same sentence or paragraph. There is no need to say, "and then" or "but then". Putting and then or but then together is nothing short of saying and and or then then; but but or then then.

The lines are bubbling along when, "and then" or "but then" pops up on the page. If you are putting the story down for the first time, continue to the end. THEN, go back and edit, edit, edit.

Example:

Joan parked the truck in the overcrowded lot. Why was it every fool, and their neighbor, felt the need to grocery shop on a Friday night? Maybe she should wait until the morning. After all, who would care except Tessa? Just the thought of her dog prompted her to brave the insanity. She grabbed the handle, jumping when the heavy door swung open, the metal slipping from her grasp. She snapped her head sideway to see who was bold enough to try and harass a uniformed deputy, in her car, still wearing her loaded service revolver?

Eyes the color of a Caribbean Sea held her attention. Joan sucked in a deep breath, then released a husky, "James."

Okay, it's not Shakespeare, but the paragraphs hold your attention more than if I would have written:

She grabbed the handle, but then the door opened, slipping from her fingers. She snapped her head sideway to see who was bold enough to try and harass a uniformed deputy, in her car, still wearing her loaded service revolver?

Eyes the color of a Caribbean Sea held her attention. Joan sucked in a deep breath, and then released a husky, "James."

If you insist on taking the easy way out, I'll have you choose either and or then; but or then--just ask my authors. They hate it. You are a writer, get imaginative.

I have weapons of Red Ink Destruction, and I'm not afraid to use them.

Mistress of the Red Ink Pens